This year has been a roller coaster ride of highs and lows for parents, especially single mothers and fathers. Global racial discord due to police brutality is keeping many on edge. COVID-19 has decimated U.S. employment for millions, pushing the country into a economic depression worse than 2008. Your children had to complete their school year in quarantine.
The negative situations, that you didn’t anticipate, have probably pushed you to your limit and you’re burnt out. You have a concussion from figuratively hitting your head against the wall too much. No one anticipated the stress 2020 would have on everyone, especially single parents. And now the kids are getting prepared for another school year. You may be worrying about finances to purchase food and school clothes.
What are you doing to balance your mind, body and spirit during these unprecedented times? You wear many hats as a single parent. Time for self-care is almost too impossible to achieve. Although, if you want to be at your best for yourself and your children during these tumultuous times, you need to take the necessary steps for balance. Self-care is necessary. There is no reason for you to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Your self-care regimen should entail emotional, physical, spiritual, cognitive and relational self-care.
First, think about your emotional health. If you are angry, suffering from depression or continuously focusing on your fears, admit it to yourself. Unfortunately, many no longer have medical insurance due to the pandemic. If financially feasible, make an appointment to speak with a therapist. Or speak to a friend or family member that will allow you to vent. Honor your feelings and practice self-compassion.
Second, physical health is important. Look in the mirror and ask yourself the tough and honest questions regarding your body. You notice the tell-tale signs when your body is not functioning at optimum levels. Drink lemon water daily to cleanse and detox your body. If you want to shed the excess weight — exercise. Yoga, jogging or lifting weights will get your body back in shape. Dancing is an exercise you can do around the house. If you enjoy nature, go for a long walk at your local park. Not only is it relaxing, but it is good for your soul.
Third, meditation and prayer are excellent methods to tap into and heal your spiritual side. If you are not a religious individual, try writing in a journal. Journaling is a great way to release your emotions and strengthen your spiritual connection. Read poetry. Listen to spiritual music. Make a list of things you are grateful for if you begin to feel stress levels rise.
Fourth, cognitive care is important. When your self-care is out of balance, your mind can be in fight-or-flight mode. Read a book alone or with your children. Change any negative self-talk to a more positive dialogue. Meditation and journaling are ways to help with your cognitive self-care. Sudoku or crossword puzzles will keep your mind sharp.
Finally, relational self-care is something to consider. During these challenging economic times, people are “seeing” the true colors of family, friends and co-workers. How many of you have recently walked away from family members and friendships. Instead of hanging around the “crabs in the bucket,” be the one that stares into the bucket. Surround yourself with those that want to build you up instead of bringing you down. Meet a friend for coffee. Treat yourself to a movie if a theater is open in your area. Being lonely is par for the course as single parents, but your relational self-care is more important than enduring toxic people. Energy vampires only take, they don’t give.
As a single parent, right now you have tremendous stress, exacerbated by the global circumstances of 2020. But, if you don’t take care of your personal well-being, eventually it will affect your relationship with your children. Remember, you are the most important person in their life.